Why the Sexy TV Sitcoms?
This past Saturday I had the privilege of addressing a group of parents at a church about youth, media, and technology. As a former television producer, media researcher, and mother of three, it is a subject about which I am very passionate. Some would call me rabid. Those would be my children.
Not only did I address pressing issues about social media, cell phones, safeguarding families, and music (don’t even get me started on Lady Gaga), but I talked about television. Frankly, there are things that TV producers don’t want you to know.
Consider this statistic: according to a 2005 study, an overwhelming majority of television shows contain sexual references, and situation comedies appear at the top of the list with 87 percent containing sexual content. The sitcoms show scenes of sexual content at an average rate of almost 9 scenes per hour. That was six years ago; the trend has only worsened, IMHO (that’s text-speak for “In My Humble Opinion” for those parents who have yet to attend one of my seminars).
Clearly, what’s happening to sitcoms isn’t funny.
The terrain of television is vastly different than years ago. We have gone from one deserted island (Gilligan’s)to another (Lost). Ozzie and Harriet were replaced by Ozzie and Sharon. Television is now about “Leave it to Cleavage.” What would June and Ward think?
In all honesty maybe we should reframe how we look at the above statistic and at television in general. Perhaps researchers should state how many of the sex shows on television contain humorous references. It’s time we wake up to what is really happening right in front of us, in living color, and in many homes, on very large screens . Things that were considered pornographic not long ago make up the mainstay of broadcast television and commercials. The CBS eye is looking the other way and the NBC peacock is burying its head in the sand.
The Parent Television Council is an organization that cares about what kids are seeing on television. They evaluate shows for content including sex and violence. The PTC provides a color-coded, easy-to-read weekly guide to television shows that evaluates shows based on content. For the week of April 7-14, there was only one network sitcom that made their list of “best picks” for family viewing: ABC’s “The Middle.”
While the scarcity of family-friendly fare came as no surprise, the fact that there is only one network program deemed worthy of watching should be a point of shame for television producers and network executives.
I have been a fan of “The Middle” since last year, when it began its first season. The show airs on Wednesday evenings at 8 p.m. on ABC. It appeals to my warped sense of parental humor which you likely share if you enjoy reading my column. It’s real life, and it’s funny. Check it out and let me know what you think. I’ll share my thoughts on the show next week.
Lynn Rebuck is a nationally award-winning former television producer, journalist, and speaker who is passionate about helping parents navigate the issues of media and technology with their teens and tweens. For speaking engagements, email her at Lynn@LynnRebuck.com. Her colummn appears weekly in print, online, and on Amazon Kindle. Her blog is featured on TheChristianPulse and BlogHer.com. For more information about Lynn and to read her blog, go to www.LynnRebuck.com. © 2011 Lynn Rebuck
Mall Walking a Stretch © 2010 Lynn Rebuck
Rather than invest in a costly fitness club membership in order to lose weight, this month I started mall walking.
So far I have lost three pounds and $378. And that was only the first week. Today I “hit the wall” and my credit limit at the same time.
Many mall walkers don their sneakers and warm-up suits and hit the indoor trail before the stores open. These are primarily men. Women instinctively know that God did not create malls merely to be walked.
During one training circuit, I got my ears pierced, my nails done, and my hair colored. I was exhausted by the end of my routine.
Mall walking is more of a workout than I thought it was going to be. I have been walking my Cinnabons off. Lest you scoff at my exercise regimen you should be aware that I have “felt the burn,” although it was the time I ate jalapenos at the Mexican place in the Food Court.
It’s my belief that you can get just as good of a workout at the mall as you do at a gym, although it takes some creativity. I do arm curls with my shopping bags (two large Yankee Candles per bag. Start with 10 repetitions. Increase weight by buying more candles). The EscalatorMaster really gets my heart rate going, especially when I reach the top and remember that I am afraid of heights.
If you want to start mall walking, here are a few tips:
You should never walk so fast that you cannot carry on a conversation with a sales clerk.
Your target heart rate is calculated by subtracting your age from your FICO score then multiplying the result times the 70% off clearance at Macys. It is not unusual to suddenly reach your target heart rate after only a few minutes of walking. This usually occurs when you spot a sale.
Make sure you have the right kind of shoe. The right kind of shoe is any high heel that is on sale the day of your walk.
Make sure to dress comfortably. If your clothes become uncomfortable at any time during your walk, it is necessary for you to immediately purchase something that fits better in the nearest store.
If my weight loss and spending continue at their current pace, I will be down to a size 12 the day I file for a Chapter 13.
Lynn Rebuck writes an award-winning humor column that appears weekly in print and online. She is currently doing Gap laps at the mall. Check out Lynn’s mall walking workout video on her website, www.LynnRebuck.com, along with more of her humor columns. You can email her at LynnRebuck@gmail.com, become a fan on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter. © 2010 Lynn Rebuck
Fall Back, Spring For Words © 2009 Lynn Rebuck
Although the time change from Daylight Saving Time happened a weeks ago, I still haven’t adjusted. It usually takes me six months.
While most people are aware that the whole concept that daylight could be saved was invented by that irrepressible inventor, Benjamin Franklin, many are unaware that he conceived of the idea after pulling a candle-lit almost-all-nighter in France.
Mr. “a penny saved is a penny earned” Franklin finally crashed at 3 or 4 a.m. after being totally amazed by a new invention being demonstrated on QVC called the “oil lamp”.
At 6 a.m. he was so startled by the sunlight streaming into his room that he reasoned, in the midst of his sleep deprivation, that a drop of wax saved is a drop of waxed earned.
Interestingly enough (or not, you decide), Franklin first proposed his idea in a letter to the editor.
He reasoned that tons of wax and livre (which is books, money, or chopped liver according to my very vague French dictionary) could be saved if the Laissez-faire French would stop sleeping until noon.
He humorously suggested that a cannon be set off on the streets each morning to jolt people to wakefulness. Not a bad idea, especially for those hard-to-wake teens.
He also suggested a financial penalty for homeowners whose residences had shutters to keep the sunlight out. Today that would be the equivalent of a Levelor levy.
But the time-change concept didn’t go straight from Franklin’s quill to instantaneous world-wide acceptance. People were amused but resistant.
In 1907, William Willet, an English builder and the first one with a “Save the Daylight” bumper sticker, proposed the time change but with a more humane transition than the sudden one-hour shift: on each of four consecutive Sundays in April, at 2 a.m., set the clock forward a mere twenty minutes and back in like fashion in the fall.
He was ahead of his time. About 20 minutes ahead. The idea was mocked, dismissed, and eventually passed by legislators. Those lobbyists for the time industry were very persuasive.
People used to rely on local time from a town clock like we rely today on the time from our infallible computer screens (mine is still set on Pacific Time though I reside on the East Coast).
In the United States the entity that actually drove hardest for the standardization of time was the transportation industry, apparently so that eventually all airline passengers would know just how late their flight was.
Times have certainly changed since Franklin and Willet.
We now efficiently light our homes in the evenings with energy-saving 40-inch HD screens tuned to QVC, where tonight they are demonstrating lava lamps. I’ll probably be awake until 3 or 4 a.m.
Lynn Rebuck writes an award-winning weekly humor column and writes and produces clean humor videos, which you can find on her new website, www.lynnrebuck.com. She claims the deadline for this column was 2 p.m. Pacific Time, not Eastern Time.
“Operation Mommy Freedom” © 2009 Lynn Rebuck
It’s an emotional time of the year for mothers.
The same women who gathered nine months ago outside elementary schools and waved tearful good-byes to their little ones as they headed off for the first day of school now stand arm-in-arm for support, bite their lips, and hold back tears for a different reason: the last day of school.
Mothers who not long ago wondered how their little one would cope with the separation anxiety are now curious as to how they will survive the attachment anxiety.
There’s nothing quite as frustrating as trying to grocery shop with two or more toddlers attached to your legs. School-age kids are even harder to take, as it’s tougher to talk them out of buying things. Thanks to the helpful teachers they can now actually read the prices on items and determine how much cash you have in your wallet.
Shopping with kids is like taking an infant infantry company on maneuvers. Shopping is easier done alone. Once school’s out I find myself grocery shopping in WalMart at midnight. I’m not the only mother there. I exchange glances and coupons with women who also looked like they have barely survived the summer so far (school just let out yesterday).
Within 24 hours of having my kids home for the summer, I had used up all those ideas peddled to us by single, freelance writers in magazines touting family fun. None of the ideas seemed to work. My son’s “Make Lemonade from Lemons” stand failed miserably but qualified for bailout money. The “Keep Your Toddler Busy with Tortellini” project hadn’t flourished as the flour was everywhere except the bowl. And the “10 Activities Your Kids Will Love!” my kids hated.
After one afternoon, I was ready for US Army Special Forces to rescue me in “Operation Mommy Freedom.” I needed to get out of the house, without kids, and quick. I escaped into the bathroom for some momentary peace. As I backed out the window, my toes searching for a safe landing spot, I heard voices behind me squeal in unison, “Whatcha doin’, Mom?”
”I’m checking our fire escape routes,” I replied.
“You did that yesterday,” a red popsicle-stained face said.
“I needed to make sure it was still clear, dear,” I said, eyeing alternate escape routes.
“Can we get in the pool now?” asked the purple popsicle-stained face.
“No, we want the slippy slide,” said the orange popsicle-stained face.
It’s always the same—a summer of running hoses (a relief from winter’s running noses), barbecues and bandages. There are always one or two barefoot, bathing-suit clad kids who I don’t recognize, who don’t speak a word, yet who spend the summer in my backyard (M. Night Shyamalan could make a movie about the phenomenon). There are mounds of wet towels piled so high they show up on aerial relief maps (GoogleMaps was kind enough to remove the close-up of my backyard at my request).
“What’s that fragrance you’re wearing?” my husband asked one night.
“Chlorine,” I said, wiping the popsicle stain from my mouth.
Lynn Rebuck writes an award-winning weekly humor column for the Lititz Record Express. She is available for speaking engagements and listening engagements. You can become a fan on Facebook, follow her on Twitter, or email her at LynnRebuck@Live.com. © 2009 Lynn Rebuck
Something to Tweet About © 2009 Lynn Rebuck
Something to Tweet About © 2009 Lynn Rebuck
I have good news, but first I must explain.
Since reluctantly showing my face on Facebook, and then inviting followers on Twitter, I have been continually challenged with what to post to periodically update my friends/followers.
Although I am seldom at a loss for words, I get writer’s block when posed with the very personal and invasive questions on these social networking sites. They ask intimidating questions like “What are you doing now?” and “what are you thinking?”
I’m afraid that if I revealed what I actually did during the day, most readers would fall asleep from boredom just reading my posts, or “tweets” as they are called on Twitter.
“I’m typing.” “I’m typing again.” “I’m thinking about typing.” Yawn.
Most days I struggle with what to write, but not for my column or for the paper, mind you. I can crank out 500 words for a column or 1500 for a profile, but limit me to 140 characters, as Twitter does, and you might as well take away half of my keyboard (which, if you intend to do, please take the right half. Just leave me the “e” and a few consonants).
I may see if I can write an entire column next week just using the left half of the keyboard as a challenge. Incidentally, the words “tweet” and “twitter” are entirely on the left half of the keyboard.
I anguish daily over what to tweet. I agonize over each letter as I carefully select phrases and toss away inferior ones. My floor is littered with shredded tweets.
I feel a certain obligation to make things interesting for my readers. I have begun to engage in high-risk behaviors in order to have something extraordinary to report rather than the mundane rituals of my daily life.
Recently I pondered what to write. “Just got a tattoo.” Nah. “Went hang gliding.” No, not exciting enough. I finally settled on “Just got a tattoo while hang gliding.” Believe me, the experience was one that I do not want to repeat. But I had my readers sitting on the edge of their tweets.
I’ve wondered whether people my age should really have Twitter accounts. Does anyone really want to read my tweet that says, “Am at Giant—big sale on Depends!” or my notice that says, “Just heard Elton John on radio!”
Today I finally got bona fide good news. I finally have something of merit to post, tweet, shout, and share.
My editor just notified me that I have received statewide recognition for my column in this year’s Pennsylvania Newspaper Association Keystone Awards.
Stop the virtual presses, I’ve finally got something to say!
I dropped what I was doing to log in to Facebook to share the news with my friends. Here’s the message I received:
“Your account is temporarily unavailable due to site maintenance. It should be available again in a few hours. We apologize for the inconvenience.”
I’m at a loss for words. So much for social networking…I’m calling everyone I know.
Lynn Rebuck writes a weekly humor column for the Lititz Record Express. You can email her at LynnRebuck@gmail.com and follow her exciting posts on Twitter.com/LynnRebuck. © 2009 Lynn Rebuck
Post-Traumatic Dress Disorder © 2009 Lynn Rebuck
Post-Traumatic Dress Disorder © 2009 Lynn Rebuck
Each spring, at the start of prom season, high schools across the country hold assemblies featuring mock accident scenes to encourage student sobriety. Nothing, however, prepares parents for the sobering reality of shopping for a prom gown.
“Mom, I need to get a dress for the Spring Prom,” my daughter announced one day after school.
“It’s only September,” I said. “You haven’t even memorized your locker combination yet.”
“Do you want me to be the only one without a dress?” she replied.
Guilt and a fear of failure led us to the mall (I don’t want her to be the one trying to pass off the duct tape dress as fashionably different).
Surrounded by racks of glitzy, immodest dresses, I wasn’t sure if we were in the department store or Cher’s dressing room.
“Here’s one I like,” said my daughter, holding aloft a long flimsy piece of fabric that was clinging desperately to the hanger. Someone had forgotten to sew up its center seam.
“Put that back,” I said. “Cher needs it for her ‘Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves’ number.”
“You’re so old-fashioned,” she said, running her fingers over the fabric of a floor-length yellow satin gown. My fingers turned over the price tag: $450.
“Yellow isn’t your color, dear,” I said, pulling her towards some more reasonably priced togs.
“Here are some lovely, modest, well-made dresses, and they’re in your color,” I said helpfully. “The fabric’s not too sheer, they’re floor length, and they are on sale.”
“Mom, those are curtains.”
Unfortunately, it wasn’t only a dress that she needed.
The same daughter who went barefoot all summer, who does not carry a purse, and has treated every jewelry gift with disdain suddenly felt naked without matching shoes, a clutch, necklace, earrings, hair ornaments, and a coordinated cell phone case.
After what seemed like months of shopping (witnesses tell me it was just one afternoon, but time seems distorted due to the trauma), it all came together at a significant cost (I saw one desperate mother take a last-minute loan from a shady-looking loan shark lurking outside the fitting room).
My daughter’s dress ended up costing more than my wedding gown, my husband’s tux, our reception, and the annual budget of the town where we were married, combined.
Her dad didn’t handle it well at all.
This year we had to call emergency personnel to pry open her father’s wallet with the jaws of life after extracting him from the car in the parking lot.
When he saw the receipt, he lay limply across the hood while paramedics administered oxygen. He mumbled under the mask that he felt like stopping on the way home for a good, stiff drink.
“You know, Dad, they said today at the pre-prom assembly that you shouldn’t drink and drive,” she said. “And, oh, by the way, I need a hundred dollars to buy a prom ticket.”
They life-flighted him out of the parking lot.
Lynn Rebuck writes an award-winning humor column that appears weekly in the Lititz Record Express. You can find her on Facebook, read her blog at http://lynnrebuck.wordpress.com, and follow her on Twitter.com/LynnRebuck. ©2009 Lynn Rebuck
Doing the Unex-Spectered (c) 2009 Lynn Rebuck
Doing the Unex-Spectered © April 29 2009 Lynn Rebuck
Republicans were stunned by Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter’s announcement that he switched parties. They thought he already was a Democrat.
Specter left the Republican Party because he heard that Obama said only Democrats would be able to get Tamiflu.
Specter said he was forced to switch parties because he lost party support after he voted for President Obama’s economic stimulus plan.
Republicans should have figured Specter was jumping ship when he kept scooting his Senate chair toward the center aisle.
Republican Pat Toomey had announced he was running against Specter in the Pennsylvania primary election and polls showed Specter trailing Toomey by twenty points. Specter decided he’d rather switch than fight.
Specter likes to flaunt his almost 30-year service in the Senate. When the caucus goes to Denny’s he always asks for the “seniority discount.”
Specter’s move puts the Democrats only one senator shy of having 60 seats in the Senate. If comedian Al Franken wins the contested senate seat in Minnesota, it means that the Democrats would be able to prevent Republican filibusters. Instead, Franken will perform non-stop monologues.
While Franken could become the first comedian elected to the Senate, he certainly wouldn’t be the first Democratic joker in office.
Senate Democrats are excited at the prospect of having 60 of their kind in the Senate. Imagine that…they can finally have full rosters in their softball league.
Democrats are thrilled because it means they can get the group discount for their next trip to Atlantic City. They’re putting up a sign on the bus already… “No Filibuster… or Bust.”
Specter said he didn’t want to lose his Senate seat because of the vote of Pennsylvania Republican primary electorate. I’m pretty sure that’s how the law works. You lose, you leave. But leave it to Specter, a lawyer, to find a loophole.
Wouldn’t it be something if Pennsylvania Republicans switch their registrations to Democrat to vote against Specter in the primary?
How about Air Force One flying over New York City and causing a scare? High ranking government officials thought New Yorkers could use a distraction from the swine flu outbreak.
Congress is worried about the swine flu. They don’t want it to affect their pork.
Speaking of budgets, it cost over $328,000 for the government to fly Air Force One over New York City … for a photo shoot.
It turns out the old photo was looking outdated. You could still see Dick Cheney hanging on to the wing.
Obama’s looking for ways to cut the budget and reduce the deficit. Here’s my suggestion: maybe his plane can go without its 8 X 10 glossies.
Obama marks his 100th day in office Wednesday with a prime-time television press conference. Fox is refusing to air the president’s speech. Apparently the network didn’t want to duplicate coverage. They already have one show in that time slot called “Lie to Me.” © 2009 Lynn Rebuck
Lynn Rebuck writes an award-winning weekly humor column for the Lititz Record Express. You can follow her on Twitter.com/LynnRebuck.
